Shame and Guilt, the difference

Guilt is painful awareness that you caused harm or broke a rule. Shame is the shrinking feeling that your whole self is flawed.

Each in a line

Shame

Shame is the feeling that something is wrong with you, not just your actions. The shoulders curl in, the head drops, the impulse is to hide. Guilt says I did a bad thing; shame says I am one. It motivates concealment.

Self-conscious family

Guilt

Guilt is painful awareness that you caused harm or violated something that matters. The discomfort is the message: this needs to be put right. Guilt is about behaviour; shame is about identity. It motivates repair, apology, and change.

Self-conscious family

Pleasantness and energy
high energylow energyunpleasantpleasantShameGuilt
Where each lives in the body

Shame

Face
Strong heat or tension
Strong
Head
Pressure, fullness, mental load
Moderate
Chest
Hollow, sunken
Withdrawn
Stomach
A sinking pull or knot
Moderate
Shoulders
Slumped, dropped
Withdrawn

Guilt

Head
Pressure, fullness, mental load
Moderate
Chest
Tightness or warmth
Moderate
Stomach
A sinking pull or knot
Moderate
How long they last

Duration has not been measured for these words.

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