Shame and Embarrassment, the difference

Embarrassment is hot, self-conscious discomfort at being exposed in a moment. Shame is the shrinking feeling that your whole self is flawed.

Each in a line

Shame

Shame is the feeling that something is wrong with you, not just your actions. The shoulders curl in, the head drops, the impulse is to hide. Guilt says I did a bad thing; shame says I am one. It motivates concealment.

Self-conscious family

Embarrassment

Embarrassment is hot, brief discomfort at being seen as you did not want. The face flushes, the ears burn, the head drops. The blush is involuntary and gives the feeling away. It is shorter and less identity-deep than shame.

Self-conscious family

Pleasantness and energy
high energylow energyunpleasantpleasantShameEmbarrassment
Where each lives in the body

Shame

Face
Strong heat or tension
Strong
Head
Pressure, fullness, mental load
Moderate
Chest
Hollow, sunken
Withdrawn
Stomach
A sinking pull or knot
Moderate
Shoulders
Slumped, dropped
Withdrawn

Embarrassment

Face
Strong heat or tension
Strong
Head
Pressure, fullness, mental load
Moderate
Ears
Sensation present
Moderate
Chest
A faint pull
Quiet
How long they last

Duration has not been measured for these words.

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